maybe you’ve met me before. virtually. or in flesh-mode as well. thanks for being interested enough to click. there are numerous ways I define myself, because labeling serves a purpose. but who knows how accurate any of those perceptions are. I do know that family is incredibly important to me. they make me feel hip and interesting by association. my parents have been married for 50+ years, and I strive to be very much like them in many ways. they’re not perfect, but they’re still together, and I like them. and that says something. my brothers and sisters are my best friends. whenever we’re together, we drink and laugh and play poker. and eat and laugh. and drink. and eat. and there’s usually bacon involved at some point.
my husband has been my closest friend since high school, and he makes me feel smart and pretty. he makes this self-actualization thing possible with his support in all forms. he’s willing to live a bit more messily, frugally, and with three boys underfoot while I’m off being a photographer. my boys make me tired and happy and feel inexpressibly old and forever young. and while my house constantly feels like I’m in the middle of a circus performance, I’m glad that I won’t have teenage daughters.
I’m a woman who, just before her 40th birthday, discovered her bliss when one day borrowing her friend’s father’s dslr. and with a simple view-press-kaCHUNK, it all became clear. the skies opened up, colors were brighter, the air smelled sweeter. there was a burning bush, I think.
in past lives I was a boss, a peon, a powerpoint queen. a call-taker, letter-writer, decision-maker, low-man-on-the-totem-pole. the first friendly face, or the last line of defense. I’m a mom. and all that entails. for a woman who for quite a long time let the word “infertile” define her whole existence, I’m sometimes stunned and overwhelmingly grateful to look up and see this biologically created chaos which has been wrought.
daughter, sister, wife, mother. an air force brat, ENTP. friend. a filipina married to a german/english/irish white boy. (my boys will have to check “other” when filling in forms). in my head, I’m young-ish, strong, rational, amusing (I crack myself up all the time). a voracious reader and nightcap drinker—occasionally at the same time. it’s an escapist coping mechanism kind of thing. 40-ish-ness brings an unapologetic acceptance of self that is freeing and wonderful. I accept and appreciate and welcome that people have ideas and beliefs and thoughts different than mine, and am finally at an age when I embrace my own, with no apologies. not with righteousness, just acceptance. I am so close to being completely comfortable in my own skin. at least way more often than not. how does this translate? in addition to being a wife and mother and all those other things, I am a photographer (I put it on LinkedIn, so it must be true). I will make time to do what I love. what I need to do. I will put myself first. sometimes.
I write as I think. in fragments. or with descriptives that include string-a-bunch-of-words-together-with-a-hyphen-to-make-an-adjective sentences. I like using lower case letters. except for the word “I”. I wonder if that’s telling. I’m an english major who uses her degree essentially to feel quietly superior when observing other’s grammatical mistakes. and to give my literary opinions a self-sense of validation. what else is there to do with it?
it takes a lot to ruffle my feathers. I thrive in high-energy situations, and am excellent under pressure and in emergencies. I’m uber-rational and tend to not take things personally. in fact, you kind of have to tap me on the shoulder, look me in the eye, and say “take this personally” if you want me to. I have an extremely high boiling point, though having children has shown me there are some chinks in my armor. If you mess with them, beware the scary mother bear. not that I’ve ever transformed. I just know I can.
so…lots of words.
but I can be quiet and listen. so contact me. it’s your turn to talk about you. let me know how I can help you capture a beautiful moment in your life.